In a very recent email exchange with a dear friend of mine, I proclaimed my love language to consist of a combination of words of affirmation, touch, gifting and quality time – bitterness and resentment still show me I need to make peace with acts of service as a residual of my people pleasing days. But a light bulb moment made me reflect on love languages a little bit deeper, and that’s when I realized it’s all about consideration for me…
My love language is consideration. When my time, energy, capacity, desires, likes and dislikes, are being thought of and respected, then I KNOW I am loved. Words, touch, gifts, time and acts of service feel empty and meaningless when genuine consideration is absent. All these forms of expressing love can be manipulated, and anyone who has developed hypervigilance as a trauma response can see through intentions that are not aligned with actions, even if they are done in the name of love.
Trauma inhibits our love receptors, altering how we view, understand and express this innate but complex emotion. If you need help navigating your views on love and connection with others, book your free discovery session. Wholistik coaching is a safe space to help you explore the concept of love as well as overcome obstacles in your relationship with yourself and others.
Wholistik Healing and Living 