Self-connection

The state of being connected with yourself is what I like to call coming back home to yourself. Home is an inherent state that we all have, but the connection to it becomes clouded over time due to trauma or conditioning. We want to help you remember it exists, and help you rediscover the pathways that lead to it. There are no right ways to do this, or a linear set of steps that will help you get there. Every person’s journey back home looks different…

When you come back home to yourself, you get reconnected with your inner wisdom, intuition, creativity, joy and peace. The way you interpret life, how you speak to yourself, the behaviors you engage in will all look different from there.

In your quest to rekindle your self-connection, you may use these practices to help you remember the language your body speaks in (it does not use words!) and start paving the way of coming back home to yourself. With time, when you have a felt sense of what Home feels like, you can maintain that connection with a daily ritual.

Remembering the language your body speaks in:

• Be attentive to your needs and urges — fulfilling them is how you build connection and trust with your body. Ask yourself: What do I need right now? Then fulfill that need. It could be sleep, food, water, rest, movement, play, or simply a bathroom break. Slow down and listen to your body’s signals — thirst, hunger, the need for rest or movement — and allow yourself to respond when they come up. Learn how your body asks for what it needs, and fulfill those needs as soon as you can. When you stop ignoring your needs, you will feel more connected to your body. With time, you will find yourself rebuilding connection, trust, and respect between you and your body.

• Breathe and settle into your body, ask yourself what a full body YES feels like, noting the sensations that are coming up for you. Do the same for a full body NO. Notice the difference. Start noticing how these sensations come up for you on a daily basis and heed their pull when you want to make decisions or know your next steps.

• Notice how certain emotions and states feel like in your body: fear, joy, overwhelm, sadness, boredom, etc… What signs is your body giving you? How does it tell you what it needs? Notice the subtleties and nuances of how your body shifts from one state to another.

Self-connection practices:

The first step is to settle into your body: Put one hand on your heart, another on your belly, take a few deep breaths until you feel centered.

Choose between any of the following practices and try to practice consistently. You can set aside 5 mins each day to do any of the exercises you choose. 

• Get to know your body as if you are meeting it for the first time: Starting with your feet, slowly look at, touch and label each body part, giving yourself time to really see it with curiosity and wonder, allowing any sensations to come up and just noticing them. Is there any pulsing, tingling, numbness? If no sensations arise, it is also ok.

• Which of the 5 senses do you tend to live life through the most?
  • if sight, notice the colors and shapes around you
  • if scent, notice the scents around you, ex: smell of things like books, coffee, grass, the first rain or the smell of the room/mall/school/clinic
  • if touch, notice sensations, ex: feel of the carpet underneath your feet, feel of food you are preparing, feel of the phone in your hand, feel of the fabric of your clothes on your skin
  • if sound, notice the sounds around you, ex: how a dry leaf crunches underneath your feet, the sound of running water
  • if taste, chew your food mindfully and slow, notice the taste of food in your mouth, is it sweet, salty, bitter, sour

• After some practice, you can combine senses together:
  • While in the shower or washing your hands, notice the shape/form of the water as it splashes against your body, the sound of the water running, and the feel of it on your skin
  • Connect with yourself to notice how hungry you are, and what you feel like eating. Take the time to prepare the food, slowly and intentionally, adding an element of food for every type of taste you feel like including, ex: something crunchy, sour, sweet…Prepare a simple and nice setting for eating, maybe use your favorite plate, turn on relaxing music, light a candle or incense…take your time to enjoy the look of the food you prepared, the scent, the taste. Try closing your eyes with each mouthful, it enhances the senses. Slowly and mindfully chew your food. Notice when you are starting to feel full and assess when to stop eating accordingly, not through your mind, but through the sensation of fullness you want to reach.

• Intuitive movement practice: Allows you to drop into your body quickly. Close your eyes, connect to your breath and just move any way your body wants to, following its lead.

• Body scan: Allow yourself around 15 minutes in a private space to complete this practice. Lie down, get yourself comfortable and close your eyes. Bring awareness to your breath and the point of contact of your body with the surface underneath it. When you feel ready, take a deep breath and start scanning your body, from the feet up, one part at a time. Take it slow, and try to notice what sensations come up as you focus on each body part – do you feel pulsing, buzzing, tingling, pressure, any change in temperature? Numbness is a sensation too, and it’s totally ok if you do not feel anything, so try not to judge yourself for feeling or not feeling anything, there’s no right answer here. Continue your investigation of your body one part at a time, making sure you stay curious and open, trying to give each body part the time it needs for you to feel the sensations there fully before moving on to the next. If you notice your attention wandering away, just gently bring yourself back into your body and continue. Just like in meditation, every time you bring your attention back to exploring your body, you are practicing building new neural pathways in your brain. At the end of your body scan, take a deep breath and thank yourself for showing up and doing this practice.

Remember, it’s not about forcing yourself to do any of this, or being upset that you’re not doing it enough or correctly. Be gentle with yourself, wherever you are is ok. When you feel comfortable with a practice, aim for 1% more connection the next time you try it. It’s all about the slow, small steps you make…

Daily Ritual:

Committing to a self-connection practice for 5-10 minutes a day helps you stay in touch with yourself and strengthens your sense of self. Create a daily ritual, tailor make it so it resonates with you and is enjoyable, this is how you ensure consistency. Here are some examples of what you might choose to do, remember there’s no right way to do it:

• Check in with yourself once/a few times a day, like you would with a loved one. With curiosity and compassion, notice your thoughts, feelings, any sensations that are alive for you, allowing them space to just be.
• Meditation or mindfulness practice
• Dance or movement practice
• Gratitude for yourself/others
• Journal
• Body scan
• Exercise
• Breathe
• Create something
• Connect with nature
• Carve out time during the day and decide what you feel like doing in the moment