Something happens, someone says something or a situation unfolds and you either find yourself reacting automatically or feel the need to seek the answer from somewhere out there.
Whether we are aware of it or not, we always have a choice. That choice becomes invisible for a few reasons. We stop trusting that the answer could rise from within us because we have outsourced our knowing; we were either never taught to think for ourselves, or simply got used to reaching outward until it became the default. Most of us have been doing this for so long we don’t even notice it.
Another reason choice feels invisible is being swept away by the emotional charge of a moment, or locked in looping behavior we cannot see our way out of. Disrupting the cycle and creating space between yourself and what you are feeling is how you get it back. That space is where agency lives.
The solution is to come back home to yourself and meet the moment for what it actually is, rather than what the activated part of you or other people are telling you it is. From that place, the path forward becomes simpler:
- Place a hand on your heart, hand on your belly, take a few deep breaths and go inward.
- With curiosity, witness your feelings, the wisdom they are imparting and any needs that arise for you.
- Ask yourself what the next step is, follow the impulse of your heart and body, not just your mind.
The answer to the same problem could be different depending on the moment, your capacity and the state you are in. Also, a trigger met from a grounded place will always call for a different response than one met from a part of you. You will know it is the right solution for you when it comes with a sense of peace or calmness, even it it is hard or no one else around you agrees with it.